Thursday, 12 July 2012

Newhammer is Oldhammer

Been painting little mans let me show you them.

I love gloss varnish but it really doesn't help my already piss-poor photography non-skillz. These two are resin toys from Ramshackle Games, painted in a sort of Blanche style with limited palette, red, subdued bases, chequers and lashings of gloss varnish. While it isn't obvious from these particular figures,  they are the start of an Adeptus Mechanicus warband based upon a whole load of robed-with-crude-cyber-bits-hanging-off-them figures that Curtis at Ramshackle produces.

Chaos Renegades Brothers Shitbastard and Uterusbiter from the Insane Abortionists chapter. Evil Empire plastics, also Blanche tribute in style.

So what am I going to do with these? Well, wouldn't it be great if there was some of hardback science fantasy wargame that was published this century that didn't just propose tedious competitive, equal points "encounter battles" between people who think winning a cookie-cutter wargame somehow reflects back upon their "skill" and "generalship".

Something that encouraged and cajoled gamers into creating their own scenarios and forgetting about balance and including optional "here, try this for a fun and memorable game" stuff like rules for fighting in hard vacuum, on planets or space stations where the gravitational constant is not equal to 1, entertainingly explosive terrain, orbital platforms where you can be blown away into space by template weaponry, lightning storms, corrosive atmosphere, sub-zero temperatures, dangerous fauna, dangerous flora, toxic rivers etc.

You know, all the stuff that makes the tournament wargamers whimper "my optimised build is nerfed". Something I could play while wearing my Oldhammer scene shirt.

Handy that, because there is. This bastard.

FFFFuck!!!!!!!!!!! Steady on Coop. Shurely shome mishtake?

No. I have recently acquired a taste for humble pie served with side platters groaning under the weight of roast crow.

This is such a sea change from previous GW offerings that it almost ought to be put out under the Specialist Games label, ignored by senior management, not supported, removed from shop shelves and then nixed because an Excel spreadsheet told them to. 6th edition is encouraging gamers to make up their own planets and campaigns and characters, nagging them to at least set their game amidst the background (rather than just 2000 pts Black Templars vs 2000 pts Tau) and start mucking about with the game setup so that balance and optimisation get fucked.

Someone on Frothers described this as a bloody great big two fingers up to the tournament crowd.

So why did I notice this? I read a post on one of the "40K is teh greatest evah" boards in which a stateside 40k player who had bought the book on midnight of the release day claimed to be a (very near quote) "47 year old player who is in tears at what they have done to my game".

Let's be honest if my own Father said something like that I'd immediately kick him in the bollocks although he admittedly wouldn't since he doesn't give a toss about gaming unless it's Tiger Woods on the Wii and I really ought not to since I still owe him a favour for him taking Das Coopwagen for it's MOT retest because I was at work.

But if a 47 year old competition manchild can be reduced to tears by a game becoming far less "BEHOLD ME PROVING MY RAW PURE SKILL YOU ARE NOTHING LESS THAN NOTHING" than it was before, despite him being of serious need of a kick in the bollocks if indeed he has any, the likes of muggins here gets very interested. And hence the £45 missing from my wallet now.

Anyway, Grandfather and Grandson at a happy family reunion. Grandfather was telling young 'un about  Abdul Goldberg, Catachan Face-Eaters, graviton guns, flowchart-following robots, and Space
Marines with captured shuriken catapults.(*)


(*) I believe this may be the first time I've knowingly used an Oxford comma in print. I say them all the time though.


  1. From what I've gathered from the blogs, Sixth hates vehicles to bits. This has upset a lot of people, it seems, but has made me interested in the game for the first time in fifteen years, because really, all the vehicles were getting silly. I mean, I've seen battle reports with twelve vehicles per side, and there's no space on the table for them to do anything. Silly.

    Anyway, I've spent the last week on eBay buying old Eldar miniatures, so I don't really feel like I'm betraying my principles as GW aren't getting any of my cash.

    1. Foot Eldar are a very viable army in 6th it would seem.

  2. Shit! Nearly forgot - Squats, Beastmen, Space Slann and, apparently having fallen through a warphole in space from somewhere within an in-joke circa Citadel Miniatures 1983, Fishmen.

    1. Beastmen are returning to the Imperial Guard if the promotional White Dwarf issue can be believed...

    2. Wow. That's a fairly big deal. There might be hope for my genestealer coven yet.

    3. Rumour has it there will be plastic Chaos Cultists in the big box which would be very handy indeed for a Genestealer Cult. Don't forget your art deco 1:43 limo as well.

    4. Dumping the genestealer cult was one of the things that forced me out of the game. I would love it if they came back.

  3. Great news - have heard good reports of how nice the book is and it obviously has contents to match.

    Must I've enjoyed watching the speculation over whether this or that illustration featured Ambulls, Space Slann or other exotic alien fauna!

  4. I don't understand. Are you saying that the monster of a ruleset that is 6th edition has all the fun and lollzzz of our humble Rogue Trader edition?

    1. Not all of it. But the attitude is much closer to RT than it was to, say, 5th edition. Its as if either a bunch of Don Featherstone enthusiasts murdered the tournament crowd at workshop and buried the bodies under the Space Nazi statue or somebody with power decided that the tournament scene isn't good for growing the business. Somewhere deep in GW a metaphorical BIG FUCK OFF LEVER has been thrown and the whole ship violently swung around through 180 degrees.

    2. Standard Workshop development practice, then.

  5. Replies
    1. Yeah, but you're a Brummie contrarian powergamer so what? :)

  6. The tournament crowd was one of the main things that stopped my re-entry into the Games Workshop Hobby. Someone needs to tell those guys to lighten up.

  7. On the plus side - the game sounds interesting. On the minus - over 400 pages??

    I do enjoy scenario-based games, though. There's a knack to creating balanced (as in both sides have an interesting time and can 'win' in some way) unbalanced scenarios.

    Saying that, I still spend a considerable percentage of my gaming time playing equal point HOTT games :)

  8. @Kaptain Kobold

    I think its only like 30pp rules and maybe another 20 advanced rules. The rest is glorious madness.

    I have to add everything that anyone's said they hate about 6th has made me empty yet an other moth from my wallet and now its Coop endorsed?! There's no hope for me now!

  9. I've been experimenting with gloss varnish for the last week or so, wondering whether I'd like to go for that "old school" look with my miniatures or not.

    As of now I'm still undecided.

    6th edition 40k was barely a blip on my radar, I'd all but given up on GW recently.
    I still tend to play small skirmishes of 2nd ed from time to time with friends.
    But the things I've heard about 6th has me really tempted to pick up a copy.

  10. Damn you Coop!

    I thought that I could ignore this beast, but now I have it from several sceptical sources that '40k6e' is not only quite good, but good in all the right ways.

    I'll be waiting for the big box full of plastic though - those massive hardbacks are pretty, but difficult to use at the table.

    1. That's a legitimate criticism and is one of the reasons why I sold my WFB hardbook (whichever version it was - the current one which I never actually got around to playing).

      Rumour has it the plastic forces will be Dark Angels against combined Chaos Marines and Cultists.

  11. God damn it, now I'm interested.

  12. I have to admit to being a little surprised to see (well hear about via the interwebs) that homo sapiens rotundus get a mention.

  13. There is another way Coop. Find a copy of Space Crusade, and maybe Eldar Attack, Operation Dreadnought, White Dwarf 134 and 145.

    Replace crappy miniatures with 40k substitutes. Shitbastard and Uterusbiter can star as two of the chaos marines the game requires, for instance.

    You end up with self contained game that has you painting up everything from space marine scouts and librarians to ork painboys and eldar exarchs, which is more than can be said for your average 40k army. Collecting the full range of termie options alone for all three chapters is 30-40 miniatures, so it's a big project. Just thought I'd suggest it as I wouldn't want to see your character model inclinations lost to a big army. Anyways...

    Also, thank you for the inspiration as far as naming CSMs goes. Some more thoughts along similar lines:

    El Freako
    Gory Sanchez